Slow day at the office

The other day on bbc I found this article. God has been bringing to my plate the concepts of repentance and prayer. I was immediately torn as I read this from disgust and amazement.

I ate children's hearts, ex-rebel says

By Jonathan Paye-Layleh BBC News, Monrovia

Milton Blahyi, a former feared rebel commander in Liberia's brutal civil war, has admitted to taking part in human sacrifices as part of traditional ceremonies intended to ensure victory in battle.

Milton Blahyi fought Charles Taylor's forces in the war

He said the sacrifices "included the killing of an innocent child and plucking out the heart, which was divided into pieces for us to eat."

There had been numerous rumours of human sacrifices during the 1979-93 conflict but this is the first time anyone has admitted publicly to the practice.

Mr Blahyi, 37, is better known in Liberia as "General Butt Naked" because he went into combat with no clothes on, to scare the enemy.

He is now an Evangelist preacher, who prefers to use the name Joshua.

He was speaking to the BBC, after telling Liberia's Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) that his forces had killed 20,000 people.

Forgiveness

Mr Blahyi said he had first become exposed to killings in 1982 when, at the age of 11, he was ordained "the traditional priest of my tribe."

He explained that when a rebellion broke out against President Samuel Doe, he had to go to war on behalf of the president, as they were from the same Krahn ethnic group.

If you have an individual admitting that he and his group killed over 20,000 people, certainly there should be a mechanism put in place for such people to face justice Mulbah Morlue Forum for the Establishment of a War Crimes Court

He fought against the militia of Charles Taylor, currently on trial for war crimes in The Hague.

As the traditional priest, he says he persuaded the "hesitant" political leaders of his faction to make a human sacrifice before going into battle.

"They asked me to do it in secret; but some of the sacrifices are supposed to be as a ceremony; so my boys and I made some of the sacrifices in the open."

Mr Blahyi did not say where they had found the children to be killed.

He said he thought that confessing to what he had done and asking for forgiveness could help heal the country's wounds.

"I have been looking for an opportunity to tell the true story about my life; and every time I tell people my story, I feel relieved," he said, drinking a bottle of tomato juice in the capital, Monrovia.

'Ashamed'

Mr Blahyi stopped fighting in 1996, saying God appeared to him as he was charging naked into battle and told him he was doing Satan's work.

He is now often seen preaching on street corners and churches in Monrovia.

I could be electrocuted, I could be hanged Milton Blahyi

"I now preach against murder and making human sacrifices," he said.

"Some people see me and congratulate me.

"Others see me and say I should not be walking down the streets of Monrovia posing proud. But I continue to tell such people I am not proud, I am ashamed."

Between the time he was ordained a "traditional priest" and the time he stopped fighting, he said, "more than 20,000 people fell victim - they were killed."

I was skeptical of this man's conversion. But immediately God brought to mind Paul, who killed many Christians. Its so easy to limit God's forgiveness and grace. We have no problem with God loving us despite our sins, or sins like ours. But when you read about a child heart eating warlord, gut reaction says you think there is no way God fogives that person. There is no way God would still love, or want to have anything to do with this person. Then the hypocrite light goes on , and you are humbled. If the general populous doesn't think God is real or working, then there is a need for a longer look at the world around.

I'm totally comfortable with ending the above sentence with a preposition. The word "you" could be replaced with "Ben" for better accuracy.

The Weekend Report

This weekend was started off with a great little beer and deer cooking at Jake's. The ladies of the Grove were tied up at some Christmas something, I don't know, I was really paying attention. But some guys got together to eat, drink, and be merry. And merry we were with great deer tenderloin.

Saturday was wiled away preparing for an overnighter on Hawksbill crag, which the next morning we discovered to be a "tents with red x's only" camping spot. We had tents, but left the red x's at home, so we might have gotten in trouble had we seen someone. Luckily, the only living entity we saw due to fog and the general location of Newton County AR were the massive Elk that turned a straight stretch of highway in Boxley Valley into a four way stop. I capitalize Elk due to the size of the animals. Wow. The bull we saw was the biggest thing I have ever seen in the wild, excluding buffalo. They were technically in the wild/on the side of the road in North Dakota. The bull was an 8x8. Whether your talking wheels or points, that big.

I finished the weekend by returning late for one of the parties' lunch engagement. Pretty sweet. To top it all off, Suzanne and I ate sushi after church. I love sushi.

The Christmas Season, single or not single

In the past, I have never been very into the Christmas season. It really just made me feel lonely.
It was like a month long Valentine's Day. To clarify, I am not necessarily talking about Christ's birth, but rather the season of Christmas that is portrayed in movies. The one with people all gathered in the living room decorating and laughing, drinking egg nog and playing games. The whole scene from Serendipity where they are skating around central park while its snowing. That kind of stuff.

I have just come to the realization that all those things make you feel either really lonely or really happy. Its one of the two. If you are in love and are having that love reciprocated, the yule time is a rock your socks off good time. However, if you are single, it's just cold and annoying and expensive and annoying. This whole argument, of course, excludes anyone young enough to not be concerned with the opposite sex; meaning for all 12 year olds, Christmas rocks. Always. Barring some tragic family accidents or situations... I don't want to make light of anyone's tough situation.

Continuing on...

I would like to give a short discussion on the great things about the Christmas season as I see them from my current engaged perspective, and by "discussion," I mean I am going to write out the things I am looking forward to doing with Suzanne around the holidays.

Walking around "looking at the lights" which really means she is going to be squeezing my arm really tight as I look at her from the corner of my eye. She will be looking at the lights.
Watching Christmas Vacation with Suzanne (who knows every line) and laughing lots.
Seeing Suzanne wear really weird clothes (its easier to accessories in cold weather... duh) but look really really pretty in them.
Gluwine.
Eating fancy cheese and drinking wine and getting kissed by Suzanne.

Most of this really just involves Suzanne. I guess everything is made sweeter when you get to share it; share it with a girl/woman, not a heterosexual life partner. I wouldn't want to kiss, or snuggle by a fire with Lafe. No offense.

Stuart pointed out to the fact that my profile says I am from Afghanistan. This is not accurate and will be rectified.

Last night Suzanne and I had a really good discussion about the Sermon on the Mount and the whole good fruit bad fruit concept. Its really great, amazing, awesome, etc. to be in love with a woman who is wise and gives good counsel. Suzanne is so good at holding fast to the most basic points and from them, moving out into all the unclear parts of scripture. I can get turned around a little bit, as was the case last night, but Suzanne totally reeled me in and reminded me of some really simple truths that I was overlooking.

This discussion was in addition to one about beauty. It is fun to talk about beauty with the most beautiful woman I know. Throughout this conversation, I realized the wonder of God's timing. Suzanne and I often wondered why we never met each other before it was nearly too late. But during this conversation Suzanne was expressing her frustration at some guys' idea of the perfect woman being someone who wasn't concerned with how they looked. She wouldn't wear make up or be caught up in her appearance. I totally used to think that way. But somewhere between summer project in Florida and my last two semesters in Fayetteville, I changed that viewpoint. The perfect woman does dress up, she can wear make up if she wants, she does wear nice clothes and puts flowers in her room and smells nice. She does a lot of things that have no apparent worth to a guy, because she is expressing the beauty of God. She is Eve, the human form of beauty. She is concerned with beauty because she was made to be beautiful. Just like guys are captivated by great leaders and competition, beauty captivates a woman. That idea/concept has been manipulated by the fall to be a huge struggle for women comparing themselves to other women, feeling like they aren't beautiful if they don't appear to look like whoever happens to be on the cover of a magazine in the grocery store line.

I thought about what life would be like if I had married a girl who had no concern for beauty. It would be like being married to a skinnier dude. I don't want that. I really like that Suzanne is beautiful, and that she likes to be beautiful. She really likes me to tell her I think she is beautiful. Without her, everything in my life would be quantified, measured, compared, optimized etc. But women and beauty don't work like that, they just are. It can't be saved up or stored away. It can only be enjoyed.

Epic

Epic could be one of the coolest ideas in our culture today, in my culture anyway. On the Road - epic. First ascents in Patagonia - epic. Heli skiing in AK - epic. Persevering through a low paying, high stress job made that way because of a short sighted, crass, cheap, and belittling boss - epic? I don't know.

buildering, its not just for the urbanites anymore

Suzanne and I went to Agri Park in Fayscrizzle last night to do a bit of moonlit buildering. I must say the friction was very good. Definitely reminiscent of those 45 degree days at Valley of the Blind when I couldn't feel the rock and didn't care because I was sticking 5.10ab crimps like Garfield on the back glass of your weird aunt's car. Whatever, my calves are sore. I think that Suzanne is going to be a world class climber, both because of her climbing aptitude and how shockingly good she looks in Capilene. But thats really more my enjoyment... in 8 months.

Eloping. Its cool right? I don't know anyone who has done it, but I am not ruling out the possibility.

The Hirsch told me that engagement was horrible, and that I should just skip that step when the time came and I am beginning to see why. She wants to marry me, and I want to marry her. I should have just brought Kent with me when I proposed and we could have skipped a bunch of yearning.

Yearning, yearning, yearning.

I painted for the first time since 2nd grade Monday night. I used oil paints. I am BAD! Oh man, it looks like Dennis Hoffman from Rain Man got a hold of Bill Murry's character from Caddyshack and from that, made a play. My painting is the oil and canvas manifestation of that play, void white pigments. I can't make white from blue, red, and yellow. I tried pouring the paint through a prism, but that didn't work. Just kidding, I didn't really do that.

Still yearning. ing.

The Christian life is so much more than sin management, and Satan is a bastard for making me think that it isn't.

So... I got engaged...

I have been getting a lot of flack from people saying that I "never" blog. Well this is obviously not true, however, my blog cycle is just a little slower than most people. I normally get a little blurb in about every quarter. Not too shabby I think.

But so if you are reading that I got engaged Saturday to the most wonderful, beautiful, smart, and fun woman ever, then you are probably a little disappointed that I didn't call you. Sorry. Of course, you could have been pinning away for Suzanne, just waiting for your time to act. The time passed.

The engagement story (man version):

Friday night I packed up all the stuff I needed to take Suzanne fishing, and her ring. This was a two stage process that lasted until nearly 1 am. I then woke Saturday morning, at 5:30, with rolling bowels. I took care of that problem, because I am a problem solver, and then filled up the cooler with ice and grabbed the wine (Kendall Jackson, Cabernet) and glasses and opener. I picked up Suzanne at about 6:30 and we drove to Beaver Tail waters. We got there and I brought her waders and snuck her gear up to the front of the trooper. I was helping her get he waders on when an old dude drove up... and he was a chatty old timer. So I promptly gave the "not interested in you, I brought her, man," laugh and showed Suzanne the fly vest I bought her. In the pockets were strike indicators, weights, leaders, tippet, and a fly box with some flies I tied and notes. Actually, I split up one letter I wrote to her into five parts and split them up between the pockets. I then put little numbered pieces of paper on the pockets. I told her to open the pockets in order of the numbers, something she evidently didn't need to be told.

While she is reading the letters, I am putting my waders on and being generally busy. I am completely freaking out. I've got this really weird shaking thing going on in my hands. I felt like I just shot a deer. Anyone who has shot a deer, and felt that feeling, you know, everyone else things I'm an idiot. I'm OK with that. But I was shaking and Suzanne was kind of teary. When she finished, I brought her around to the side of the car away from the talkative old man, I have no idea if he was still trying to talk to me, I was completely zoned in on Suzanne. I then told her I meant everything I wrote. I got got down on one knee and opened that little box and asked if she would marry me. She said she would. She then knelt down with a crazy mixture of crying and laughing and she kissed me. I put the ring on her finger and we hugged for about 30-45 minutes. Then we fished, and drank wine.

Highlights (for engineers): The covering on the ring box is amazing. Its supper grippy in sweaty, shaking hands. I had a killer idea of packing the wine glasses in a pair of (clean) wool socks. I put the glass into the sock open end first deep enough so the stem and base were completely in the sock, then stuffed the toe down the open end. It worked great! Notes. There is no way I could have said all that stuff knowing that I was going to say, "will you marry me?" Writing it down was much better.

So that's how I got engaged. It was a great day, tough loss to Auburn, but I got that whole wife question answered, and I am thrilled with the answer. I could think of no better possible answer.

In other news, Preston led the way to Weddington boulders, and subsequently some sweet problems. Too bad I had a headache from the champagne I drank the night before. But return trips will be made and the balance problem finished and renamed something awesome. We also had some killer discussion between evangelical theology and reformed. This really was amazing.

I am definitely much closer to the evangelical camp than the reformed, but it is good to shake the tree and watch all the stuff not firmly attached to the trunk come falling out. I feel like talking about these things does that. Being accepting of another person's right to hold his or her own views while not yielding on your own, its great. I look forward to more of these discussions hopefully taking place in community group with wiser believers than me. I'll put the biggies here as they happen. I might even be willing to break the quarterly update regiment.