ummm James, its good

I want to give God props, praise, whatever for continually speaking and clarifying His word. I mean, He is fathful even if I am not, because He can't deny Himself. It is His character. So sweet.

The praise is for what he did just now. It got me excited and I wanted to tell.

James 4 is talking to believers who are not neccessarily at odds with the world, umm friendly with it.
1What is the source of quarrels and (A)conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage (B)war in your members?
2You lust and do not have; so you (C)commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask.

3You ask and (D)do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.

4You (E)adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with (F)the world is (G)hostility toward God? (H)Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

5Or do you think that the Scripture (I)speaks to no purpose: "[a]He jealously desires (J)the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us"?

6But (K)He gives a greater grace Therefore it says, "(L)GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."

7(M)Submit therefore to God (N)Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

8(O)Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (P)Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and (Q)purify your hearts, you (R)double-minded.

9(S)Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom.

I totally understand this whole adulteress aspect, exemplified in my life by drinking too much beer and hooking-up with chicks. So the mourn weep miserable thing fits with someone who has been cheating on thier spouse, in this case God. Furthermore, turning my laughter into weeping isn't saying that I have to be a debbie downer, but rather to change what I thought was fun from making out with the random hot chick regardless of how hot she is to what God delights in. So my laughter, tequilla shots in excess, to mourning, remorse over departing from the will of God.

Its so simple. No hocus pocus here, or super-complicated academic study here folks, just good honest Spirit filled teaching. Umm Umm that Holy Spirit is rockin.

Oh and Eric, since I think you are the only person who reads this, that controls test smashed my face in. It was really, really hard. It didn't steal my joy, don't worry. I worked hard, gave everything. God was honored.

Peace be with us.

If I just lay here...

Why is it that the most popular shows are about the completely plausible life. People in med school, in high school, friends in a city. Really I think it is the fact the people are normal. They fall in and out of love, have joys and sorrows and we are there for it all. And we hurt with them, and we laugh with them and we get excited and talk to our friends about it, but who has the courage, the fortitude to actually live.

Maybe it is better to get the craziness out, the really rash and emotional, with the fiction so when it comes time to really make the important decisions, job, spouse, house etc, we can make a good one. Maybe life is better lived objectively with a solid financial portfolio. Even as I write that I can feel my heart twist inside me.

No! It says. Life is more than Dawson could film it to be, more than the gilmore girls can talk about or miranda can work out in the empty room of a hospital. Life is real and the pain cuts all the way to the core of your heart. And sometimes you just lie there bleeding, hurting. But its better to have real pain than a false happiness or even security.

Thanks Hollywood, but I'll forego the hot new drama. I'll sit on the steps or the dorm and work out the pain from the girl who said God won't let her date me, and I'll cling to my buddies when I fear beats love on halloween and I'll sure as hell keep dancing even when she runs back to Oklahoma. Ha.

Maybe my life will be epic, maybe simple. But in any case, it will be real and no one will ever be able to say I never tried, never went big, always played it safe. And most importantly, I'll know.

5.11?

I led a 5.10 route today. No kidding, I striaght up led the thing. I climbed it two weeks ago on TR, but today, I walked up to it and climbed the dang thing. It was pretty much amazing.
I then got uber ambitious and took on an 11a/b. It was considerably harder and the crux totally pitched me off. I can see that I am getting better, not so much stronger, but really better.

It is a shame the general public can not enjoy the sport of climbing. Honestly, there is nothing quite like doing something really really hard, learning to make your mind and body do things its never done, pushing yourself to the limits and watching those limits move.

Last night I got a $40 parking ticket at bible study. We had just got done talking about joy and not letting anything get in the way of that joy, be it worrying, disagreements, etc. I walk out and what do you know, Satan is trying to crap on that joy, trying to crush it inside of me with unfortunate events. I didn't have the strength to maintain joy on my own. I had to pray about it and trust God to keep that joy safe, trust Him to guard my heart.

And yet again, He saves the day. He never fails and although the problem with the ticket has not been resolved, He is faithful and will bring me through.

I hope that one day, I will be in a position that Satan must use great things to crush the joy in me. I don't really know what, but I hope that through climbing and school and family whatever else He chooses to use God produces in me more and more perseverence so that I can press on toward the call to deny myself and take on His plan for the world and my life.

This is why I love hard things (climbing, fly fishing, engineering). They put me to a place I can no longer make it on my own. They constantly remind me of my limits keeping me humble and relying on the Holy Spirit inside of me to succeed.

God be honored.